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> Drafting Guys Over 60.
metalbuckle
Posted: Aug 21, 2017 - 07:17 am


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Courtesy of Sdcaller

Drafting Guys Over 60.

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing a##-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 55.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some a###### that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-b####.

If captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million p##### off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50... in menopause!!!

You think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends... it's in big type so they can read it.

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VBB
Posted: Aug 21, 2017 - 09:18 am


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LOL! Thanks for the entertaining read!

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Fishing Rod
Posted: Aug 21, 2017 - 11:04 am


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A lot of truth right there!

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happyhooker
Posted: Aug 21, 2017 - 12:02 pm


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i like the way you think

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backwoodsmanbob
Posted: Aug 21, 2017 - 02:21 pm


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Knuguy
Posted: Aug 21, 2017 - 03:43 pm


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Is that Ralph in that pic, or maybe his older brother??

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Dinky
Posted: Aug 21, 2017 - 04:06 pm


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Maybe his younger brother!.......l

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Knuguy
Posted: Aug 21, 2017 - 06:56 pm


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Thx---that was what I meant to say!!!

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Bayliner
Posted: Aug 21, 2017 - 07:48 pm


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That works for me.

Or, just tell all the rednecks down south that the terrorists were responsible for Dale Earnheardt's death.

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pickerel24
Posted: Aug 23, 2017 - 07:43 am


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I THOUGHT WE AGREED YOU WOULD NOT TELL PEOPLE ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE LMAO
AWESOME READ LOVE IT

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sdcaller
Posted: Aug 23, 2017 - 09:32 am


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Hey Dinky and Knuguy

I hear he was rejected by the Netherlands Armed Forces, but quickly snapped up by the Newfoundland Regiment.

Ralph

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dmorrs35
Posted: Aug 23, 2017 - 10:07 am


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that was an excellent post! made me laugh! I don't know about these 18-year-olds, im almost 27 and I still have no idea how I got my GF to like me let alone date me for almost 4 years...

When I read this, immediately I thought of that one South Park episode where the old folks take over south park.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaIUOdS--kw

thanks for the post! made me laugh during a slow day at the desk!

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Ben1983
Posted: Aug 28, 2017 - 06:08 pm


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id run too if i seen that old guy comin at me.or die laughing.either way....

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poidy
  Posted: Aug 30, 2017 - 11:16 am


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gee i thought that was not a joke at first then it was a american post lol, but during the first Gulf war, few navy fellas (Canadian) did get a letter from DND, that might be reinstated to train the kids at borden lol, I think we all would of enjoyed that stint...

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RCRward
Posted: Oct 04, 2017 - 09:19 am


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The Canadian Forces will take you at 56, as long as you are a Canadian citizen and have a minimum of grade 10 education. You just have to be able to fill a minimum 3 year commitment before the mandatory retirement age of 60. It's never to late!

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