Outdoors Forum
 Members |  Forum Rules |  Search
  Reply to this topicStart new topicStart Poll

> Governmentium, New Element Discovered
sdcaller
Posted: Jan 03, 2018 - 12:01 pm


World Record Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 3331
Member No.: 67
Joined: February 10, 2011





This originated in the UK but I think it's applicable everywhere..... Happy 2018


Subject: Breaking News

Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.



Ain't it the truth.

SDC



PMEmail Poster
Top
metalbuckle
Posted: Jan 03, 2018 - 12:08 pm


World Record Trout
Group Icon

Group: Moderators
Posts: 6752
Member No.: 2
Joined: February 09, 2011




LMAO...

I appreciated this...

Some sound science right there..

PMEmail Poster
Top
Fisherman
Posted: Jan 03, 2018 - 12:38 pm


World Record Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2098
Member No.: 25
Joined: February 10, 2011




Ain't that the truth.

PM
Top
Fisherman
Posted: Jan 03, 2018 - 12:39 pm


World Record Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2098
Member No.: 25
Joined: February 10, 2011




Here's one that bugs me:
The communications companies have you over a barrel with home phones and the dam telemarketers know it. Rogers for example, has an option of you adding numbers to their own blocking system so the bastards don't bug you. But, there's a max allowable of 30 numbers you can register, then the phone stars ringing again, Mugibars duct cleaning, Ramshit Bagwinders roofing, and on and on. The only other options are to get another number like that's going to last long or pay to get an unlisted number. They make money renting phone numbers to out of country telemarketers. They said I could always cancel my home phone, real nice service eh.

PM
Top
giggidy
Posted: Jan 03, 2018 - 03:48 pm


Smolt Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 125
Member No.: 1030
Joined: December 30, 2011




The morass the better in my opinon.

PMEmail Poster
Top
Bayliner
Posted: Jan 03, 2018 - 06:22 pm


World Record Trout
Group Icon

Group: Moderators
Posts: 6795
Member No.: 22
Joined: February 10, 2011




Thanks for a good chuckle Ralph.

PMEmail Poster
Top
pickerel24
Posted: Jan 04, 2018 - 09:19 am


Adult Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 269
Member No.: 8214
Joined: January 12, 2015




i love it. and it is soo true. amazing

PMEmail Poster
Top

Topic Options Reply to this topicStart new topicStart Poll

 



Marketplace