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> The joke thread, Add your favorite joke here
farmboy
Posted: Jun 07, 2016 - 02:23 pm


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A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a
black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.

A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.”

"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners. As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the
lake as soon as we bury his wife.”

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Putaforkinya
Posted: Jun 08, 2016 - 09:03 am


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^ lol.
Seems about right

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jimrrr
Posted: Jun 09, 2016 - 08:23 pm


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a guy pulls into road side diner orders milkshake hamburger and fries. while sitting at the counter a bunch of bikers come into the diner sit down around him and start eating his food and after they ate it all he gets goes to the cash and pays for the meal he didn't get to eat. The one biker says to the other and to the waitress not much a man was he and laughs. The waitress then says not much of a truck driver either he just ran over all the Harleys in the parking lot .

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chazD
Posted: Jun 09, 2016 - 08:33 pm


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QUOTE (farmboy @ Jun 07, 2016 - 02:23 pm)
A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a
black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.

A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.”

"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners. As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the
lake as soon as we bury his wife.”

Lol.

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jimrrr
Posted: Jun 09, 2016 - 08:37 pm


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man at a trade show in Vegas gets in the elevator with a gorgeous woman as he reaches to punch in his floor number on the key pad he accidently hits the women in the breast with his elbow. Very embarrassed he says '' I am very sorry and if your heart is as soft as your breast I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me ''. she replies oh yes I forgive you and if your thing is as firm as your elbow I am in room 605.

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FatRap
Posted: Jun 10, 2016 - 07:27 am


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QUOTE (jimrrr @ Jun 09, 2016 - 10:23 pm)
a guy pulls into road side diner orders milkshake hamburger and fries. while sitting at the counter a bunch of bikers come into the diner sit down around him and start eating his food and after they ate it all he gets goes to the cash and pays for the meal he didn't get to eat. The one biker says to the other and to the waitress not much a man was he and laughs. The waitress then says not much of a truck driver either he just ran over all the Harleys in the parking lot .

What do you get when you cross a biker with a Jehovah Witness



Someone who comes to your door and tells you to f@#k off

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Putaforkinya
Posted: Jun 12, 2016 - 06:44 pm


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Q: What are a woman's four favorite animals?

A: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom and an a## to pay for it all.


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Putaforkinya
Posted: Jul 10, 2016 - 04:25 pm


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a good one from tuna.

The Irish angler

The rain was pouring down. And there standing in front of a big puddle
outside the pub, was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with
a piece of string dangling in the water.

A passer-by stopped and asked, "What are you doing?"


"Fishing", replied the old man.

Feeling sorry for the old man, the gent says, "Come in out of the rain
and have a drink with me." In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their
whiskies, the gentleman cannot resist asking,

"So how many have you caught today?"

"You're the eighth", says the old man.


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dani
Posted: Jul 10, 2016 - 06:52 pm


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Even if you don’t know anything about life in the south,
y'all will appreciate this here little ballad.

SEE: http://1funny.com/if-my-nose-was-running-money/

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Putaforkinya
Posted: Jul 17, 2016 - 08:06 pm


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Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place.
First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second guy: “That’s nothing; I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: “Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him: "What you had to do to be able to come fishing? What’s the deal?"
Fourth guy: “Nothing. I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, “Fishing or Sex" and she said, “Don’t forget to Wear a Sweater.

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Putaforkinya
Posted: Jul 17, 2016 - 08:07 pm


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A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings.
Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...
(She is speaking in a cheery voice) "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

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Knuguy
Posted: Jul 23, 2016 - 11:32 am


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sdcaller
Posted: Aug 05, 2016 - 09:58 am


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The Pope and Kathleen Windbag(Wynne) are on the same stage at the Air Canada Centre, in front of a large crowd.

The Pope Leans towards Wynne and said "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice"!!

Wynn replied, "I seriously doubt that!
With one little wave of your hand?
...Show me"!!

So the Pope backhanded her and knocked her off the stage and the crowd cheered wildly and there was happiness throughout Ontario!!!

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JayRay
Posted: Aug 05, 2016 - 07:19 pm


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QUOTE (sdcaller @ Aug 05, 2016 - 09:58 am)
The Pope and Kathleen Windbag(Wynne) are on the same stage at the Air Canada Centre, in front of a large crowd.

The Pope Leans towards Wynne and said "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice"!!

Wynn replied, "I seriously doubt that!
With one little wave of your hand?
...Show me"!!

So the Pope backhanded her and knocked her off the stage and the crowd cheered wildly and there was happiness throughout Ontario!!!


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Putaforkinya
Posted: Aug 06, 2016 - 08:29 am


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^ hahah

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