Outdoors Forum
 Members |  Forum Rules |  Search
Pages: 1 2   ( Go to first unread post ) Reply to this topicStart new topicStart Poll

> Joke for the day
FatRap
Posted: Sep 07, 2018 - 09:40 am


World Record Trout
Group Icon

Group: Moderators
Posts: 5119
Member No.: 1282
Joined: January 24, 2012




Joke for the day

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.

‘About 32,’ is the reply.’

‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’

Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.

She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.

The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’

Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’

‘I was behind you at McDonalds’.

PMEmail Poster
Top
IFH
Posted: Sep 07, 2018 - 09:59 am


Smolt Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 138
Member No.: 4919
Joined: December 01, 2013




Good one FR.

PMEmail Poster
Top
Chevy
Posted: Sep 09, 2018 - 07:45 pm


World Record Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2200
Member No.: 156
Joined: February 11, 2011




I gotta go to Mc D's more often. 😁 Good one FatRap

PMEmail Poster
Top
deerhunter
Posted: Sep 09, 2018 - 07:56 pm


Trophy Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 645
Member No.: 10322
Joined: January 04, 2016




Good one.

PMEmail Poster
Top
Ice
Posted: Sep 09, 2018 - 09:27 pm


Trophy Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 517
Member No.: 7713
Joined: December 27, 2014




Good one.

PMEmail Poster
Top
FatRap
Posted: Sep 10, 2018 - 09:44 am


World Record Trout
Group Icon

Group: Moderators
Posts: 5119
Member No.: 1282
Joined: January 24, 2012




QUOTE (Chevy @ Sep 09, 2018 - 09:45 pm)
I gotta go to Mc D's more often. 😁  Good one FatRap

Look what the cat dragged in....lol.

Hope you had a good summer Chevy

PMEmail Poster
Top
Icemanjay
Posted: Sep 10, 2018 - 03:47 pm


Lunker Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 333
Member No.: 13620
Joined: February 08, 2017




That was good, it’s gotten some mileage!!

PMEmail Poster
Top
Chevy
Posted: Sep 10, 2018 - 05:59 pm


World Record Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2200
Member No.: 156
Joined: February 11, 2011




QUOTE (FatRap @ Sep 10, 2018 - 09:44 am)
QUOTE (Chevy @ Sep 09, 2018 - 09:45 pm)
I gotta go to Mc D's more often. 😁  Good one FatRap

Look what the cat dragged in....lol.

Hope you had a good summer Chevy

Summer was hot and fast. Didn't even wet a line. Just dying to do some ice fishing.
Looking forward to reading some fishing reports and contributing.
Cheers FatRap

PMEmail Poster
Top
Bayliner
Posted: Sep 10, 2018 - 06:18 pm


World Record Trout
Group Icon

Group: Moderators
Posts: 6896
Member No.: 22
Joined: February 10, 2011




A little plastic surgery on that ear Chevy?

PMEmail Poster
Top
Chevy
Posted: Sep 10, 2018 - 06:38 pm


World Record Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2200
Member No.: 156
Joined: February 11, 2011




QUOTE (Bayliner @ Sep 10, 2018 - 06:18 pm)
A little plastic surgery on that ear Chevy?

Man it's great to be back. Luckily I've avoided the plastic surgeon so far this summer.

PMEmail Poster
Top
chazD
Posted: Sep 10, 2018 - 06:54 pm


Trophy Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 887
Member No.: 11172
Joined: February 06, 2016




Lol😂

PMEmail Poster
Top
Icemanjay
Posted: Sep 10, 2018 - 09:44 pm


Lunker Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 333
Member No.: 13620
Joined: February 08, 2017




There’s still time to get some fishing in Chevy? Check out the boat we all pitched in on for ya!

Attached Image

PMEmail Poster
Top
Chevy
Posted: Sep 11, 2018 - 04:14 am


World Record Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2200
Member No.: 156
Joined: February 11, 2011




You guys are the best. I see everyone's memory and humour are running at 100%.
That's a good one Jay.
Cheers.

PMEmail Poster
Top
FatRap
Posted: Sep 11, 2018 - 07:59 am


World Record Trout
Group Icon

Group: Moderators
Posts: 5119
Member No.: 1282
Joined: January 24, 2012




LMAO Good one Jay, just proves you can find anything on the internet these days.

Priceless

Attached Image

PMEmail Poster
Top
Icemanjay
Posted: Sep 11, 2018 - 12:31 pm


Lunker Trout
*

Group: Members
Posts: 333
Member No.: 13620
Joined: February 08, 2017




You know, things have been busy this summer with a baby and all so I only got out a couple of times thus my lack of posts, but I always have time for some good coffee table material
Hopefully I’ll make up for it this winter with some good ice fishing posts!

PMEmail Poster
Top

Topic Options Pages: 1 2  Reply to this topicStart new topicStart Poll

 



Marketplace