Before the laker opener, Quote: An open letter to Miss Laker

Can't remember who the original author is, but here it goes:

Dear Miss Laker,

What gives? I know you are down there. I've seen the blips, streaks, and lines on my sonar and on my flasher. You can't pretend like you haven't seen my hooks, baits or lures. I can see you are looking at them. You come right up, stare them down, and then just swim right away. How rude. Was my dinner offer to you simply not generous nor delicious enough? Why are you ignoring me? Did I ever do anything to offend you? I'm a pretty good guy, you know. I like puppies and long walks on the beach... Why don't you want to meet me?

I've come to see you close to two dozen times and I'm starting to get the feeling like I'm the only one putting in an effort in this relationship. I bring you gifts of flashy silver and gold, tasty little morsels of rubbery goodness, and entertainment items of all shapes and sizes. I'm doing everything I can to make you happy, but all you do is turn your nose up and casually glide away. Come on... I have feelings too, you know.

Is it too much to ask that you just come up and say hi to me? And let's be realistic here, I'm not looking for those magazine cover models. I know those beauties are out of my league. And you know what? To the smaller and ordinary fish down there, while other fishermen constantly overlook you in search of the smokin' hottie in the middle of the school, I would gladly take your picture at the end of my arm and show you off to all of my friends. All I need is for you to give me a chance.

I'm not going to give up on you Miss Laker. My friends keep telling me there are plenty of fish in the lake and that one day I'll meet my first Miss Laker, but you know, it's getting harder and harder to keep my head up. The more I get shut down, the more I feel like there is something wrong with me. I'm a good guy. I have a good job. My rod is... well... I've been told by more than one walleye, that my rod is quite impressive and that I certainly know how to use it. I have a lot to offer. Please, Miss Laker, just give me a chance. We could be so good together.

And the reply from Miss Laker:

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your heartfelt letter. I'm sorry that we hurt your feelings as this was not our intention, but unfortunately over this past winter we have caught on to your sneaky ways of the "fleeing bait fish retrieve" and our favourite, the jigging "stir up the sediment, hey! whats that? I think I should eat it" move.

Since we have an open conversation going, over the past month and a half a few of my friends have been mysteriously disappearing. No letters, no finmails, Nada! BUT I BET YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT! HUH? Samantha and Oscar were supposed to meet me after school and they never showed up? WTH! I was gonna ask Samantha to the Prom (if you saw the size of pectoral fins you would know why I picked her Grin). Let your buddies know I'm not pleased with them either.

Is it too much to say hi? Hell! Yes, it is! When you say "hi" by slamming a 1/0 weighted hook in to my face! Forgive me if get a little stand offish...What the hell! Say hi with a friggin card man! For the record we are not as dumb as you may think. you should know that I have a BA in Angler Avoidance and a Masters in Light Biting. There's a reason why we always are in schools... We are not like those dumb perch. Those guys couldn't tell the difference between a dew worm and a X-Rap. As for photos, just a suggestion. Why can't you do what other fisherman do? AND JUST LIE! Really! It would be in both of our best interest. You can tell all of your buddies about the 50" Slab you nailed, and your secrets will be safe with us. Photoshop works well, too.

So please don't be hurt.... I am really not a bad fish! Really!..... Listen.....I'll tell you what... I'll be at Shanty Bay on Saturday in 120 FOW with a "Friend". She is a real pain in my dorsal and is known to put anything in her mouth. (Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge!) Grin be persistent and stop saying that I don't do anything for you.

Sincerely,

Annie, Miss Laker

Love it!!

LOL.....Love it James.......hey I think we are turning into a dating site.....lmao.

Lol. Now that was a great fish story . A little hard to believe but still great

Hey James

Couple of "beauties".

Happy New Year and good luck out there.

Ralph

Well James, we know the author wasn't you because anyone on this board knows you don't have any troubles in the lady Laker department but thanks for posting and have a happy new year and tight lines tomorrow wherever you end up!

Haha good one!

I just put on my favorite cologne in hopes that I might meet my Miss Laker.

You never know,,,,,, sometimes a little scent is all you need to drive them crazy !!


Happy New Year everyone !!

Maybe their thinking goes like this" If I give a jerk on that line there will be a jerk on the other end of the line"

Papa---I think they have better scents!

lol im may be under the same impression